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An English man is riding his horse in the forest when all of a sudden he hears a voice saying he has three wishes. "OK! I want a face like Brad Bitt, a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and a dick the size of my horse's. The next morning as he wakes up he goes straight to the mirror, and sees that he has the face he desired, the body he desired but..he can't feel nothing in his pants. "damn!" he thinks. "Yesterday I was riding Stella..."
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A cop sees some homeless guy walking around with some kind of sack. "what's in the sack?" he asks. "I go around among public bathrooms saying to people: either you pay me 20 $, or I cut your..." the beggar answers. "so..what's in the bag?" the cop keeps wondering. "well some people didn't wanna pay.."
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Father-sperm is explaining to his kid-sperm how it feels inside. So he says: "you enter a really warm place packed with many other sperm, and you need to run as fast as you can in order to get a hold of that egg...". So when the day comes, the kid sperm does exactly what he was told, bravely passes all the rest, finally gets to the end and asks he's playmate: "are you the egg?" "Oh no, sorry! I'm just caries, you're at the wrong lane..."
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Two people are peeing next to each other in a public bathroom, when one is noticing that the other guy, a hunchbacked, has a really huge penis, and says to him: "you know, if I had such a big penis, I would suck my own dick all day long!" "yeah well, how do you think I became a hunchback?"...
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A guy and a girl meet at prison, both sitting on death-row. The girl says: "Hey listen, all my life I've been good. I never had sex. For the first, and last time, could you make me feel like a women?" so the guy takes off his shirt, throws it at her and says: "So go, get some laundry done"...
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some guy walks into bar and starts yelling: "all Moroccans are sons of bitches." then comes this big guy, and starts hitting him real bad. "what is it? Are you Moroccan dude?" "hell no!", the big guy fires back. "it's that my mom is a real bitch!"
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An Arab family turns to Rabbi in order to convert to Judaism. The Rabbi says: "if you cross this dangerous river you'll become Jewish". So the father crosses, the mother does too, but their 13 year old son doesn't make it and gets eating by a crocodile. When the mother starts crying, the father says: "why are you crying? He was only an Arab!"...
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A Moroccan women goes to her husband and asks for 10,000 dollars to do for a breast job. So he says to her: "why do you need a surgery? Just rub your breast a few times with toilet paper!" "but, how will that do me good?" she asks. "well, it help you ass quite a lot!"..
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there is a meeting of weight watchers happening. Then one cries to the rest: "I am so big, I couldn't even get through the front door!". Than another one says: "I can't even get on the bus!" then a third person participates in the conversation and says: "I even sent my underwear to laundry but they returns it saying they don't do tents!"...
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Some nerd is sitting in a coffee place when a thug comes over and drinks his coffee. "Hey dude, that's not nice!" the nerd goes. "today I got fired from work, last week my mum past away, yesterday I caught my wife with another guy, and now, when I want to kill myself you drink all the poison in my coffee?"...
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A business guy walks down the street when he bumps into an old guy trying to fish within a small puddle. Feeling sorry for him, he takes him out for lunch. After they finish, he jokes with the old man: "so..did you manage to catch something there?" "yes I have, you are my third one..." the old man replies smiling
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This Moroccan guy catches a taxi with his wife. The driver tells him the ride is 20 dollars. "ok, so what if my wife gets on as well?" he asks. "same price" the driver answers. "see?", the Moroccan says to his wife, "I told you weren't worth anything!"
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