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Bill Clinton is having lunch at a restaurant. After eating the soup, he calls the waiter and asks him, "What kind of soup is it? Yesterday the soup was much better". The waiter answers, "Gottcha you liar, it's the same soup from yesterday".
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There is a very famous story about former prime minister Ariel Sharon: one day a simple driver was driving in Jerusalem, when suddenly he is stopped by Sharon's bodyguards, and Sharon walks out of the car, takes his time to breathe some fresh air. "can you please get out of my way? The driver asks. " it's ok, just go around me!" Sharon answers back. "but what do you want me to do? Run out of gas?"...
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Right after the elections John McCain turns to Sarah Palin and shows her the v sign with his fingers. "we won?" she asks. "Hell no" he replies. "it's just the two of us now.."
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Superman, Sleeping Beauty and Pinocchio go up to heaven, and the angel Gabriel gives each one a chance to ask him a question that he must answer. Superman goes first, comes out and says, "Yes! I was the strongest in the world". Sleeping Beauty goes in, comes out, "Wow, I was the prettiest in the world". Pinocchio goes in, but comes out angry: "Who is this Clinton?"
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Laura Bush goes to a psychologist and tells him: "I don't know why, but ever since I got married, I feel cold when I go to sleep.." "well, what do you expect? You sleep under the zero!"...
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A girl returns home from a party and her mother asks how was it. The girl says she was the center of the party. The mother asks, "Did everyone want to dance with you?" "No, they all fucked me!"
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What is the difference between a condom and the government? In a condom you only have one schmuck
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A second-grade teacher ask a pupil where is the Lincoln Monument. "In Washington DC". She commends him and asks where is Times Square. "In New York City". Very good, she says. And where is Al Gore? "Everywhere?"
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