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An Arab goes to a respected law firm, trying to get a job. "I graduated from Harvard", he says. "ok", goes the Ceo. "You're in. see this huge office over there? It's yours. See the sexy secretary? She's all yours. See the fancy car? It's yours." the Arab gives a big smile and says all happy: "really?? You gotta be kidding me!" "what do you want?" says the Ceo. "you started it first!"
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Two marines are patrolling the streets of Baghdad 5 minutes before curfew. Suddenly one of them raises his weapon and shoots a local Iraqi in the head. The other marine cries out, "Why did you do that?" The shooter answers, "I know where he lives, he would have never made it home on time".
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Yassir visits Oxford University and is surprised to see on campus his old buddy Osama, whom he hasn't met in many years. "I didn't know you're in Oxford, how long have you been here?" Osama says already a few years. Yassir says, "way to go, when will you be done?" "I still have the bathroom in the first floor and that's it for today".
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An Arab family turns to Rabbi in order to convert to Judaism. The Rabbi says: "if you cross this dangerous river you'll become Jewish". So the father crosses, the mother does too, but their 13 year old son doesn't make it and gets eating by a crocodile. When the mother starts crying, the father says: "why are you crying? He was only an Arab!"...
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A Jewish guy is walking along a river when he sees a little kid drinking from the water. "Don't drink it! It's dangerous!" he yells. "shuu?" ('what', in Arabic) "ahh..nothing! Cheers!"...
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One of the Jewish settlers goes hunting, and hits a duck the falls at the Palestinian territory. He goes to the Arab living there and they start to argue to whom the duck belongs. After a while the Jewish guy suggests: "let's kick the duck one at a time, and who ever kicks the hardest will win the duck". So the Jewish goes first, and happens to kick the Palestinian real hard right in the balls. And then, without saying a word, just walks away. "hey! What's happening? What about my turn, what about the duck?" the Palestinian yells still all red and teary from the hit. "oh, you can keep the duck now, it's all yours!" goes the settler, satisfied...
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An Arab joins an Islamic terror group. The commander straps him with an explosive belt, gives him a handgun and sends him downtown. The terrorist goes into a phone booth, calls the commander and asks whether to commit suicide right now. "How many people are around you?" "Just two". The commander tells him, "no, wait". He calls again and says there are 20 people in the surrounding area. The answer is still "no, wait". After one hour he calls again and says there are 100 people in his vicinity. The commander says, "God is with you, commit suicide now". The Arab pulls out the handgun and blows his brains out.
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A couple of mad scientists took a 9-year-old Jewish kid and sliced off half his brain. Then they asked him to count. The kid counted, "1-2-3-4" and managed to reach 10. One of the scientists cut off another quarter of the kid's brain and asked him to count again. The kid counted, "1-2-3-4" and stopped. Then the other mad scientist cut off the rest of the kid's brain and told him to count. The kid began counting - in Arabic.
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A Muslim who was a suicide bomber goes up to the sky, where he sees someone in a white robe. The man says, "I'm Moses, who gave the Torah at Mount Sinai". The Muslim says, "It's an honor, but since I'm Muslim, I'd like to see Muhammad". Moses tells him to climb up the stairs. The Muslim climbs 500 stairs when he sees huge gates opening by themselves and a very strong light which tells him, "I'm God". The Muslims says, "Wow, what an honor, but if I'm already here I'd like to see Muhammad as well". God asks, "Would you like coffee, too?" "Sure" So God calls out "Hey, Muhammad, two coffees".
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George W. Bush, Ariel Sharon, and the leader of the Hamas fly in an airplane when suddenly the pilot shouts that there isn't enough fuel: the plane can't carry them all, so only one could stay onboard. Bush looks at the other two and says, "I'm doing this for peace and for my country" and jumps out. Sharon looks at the Hamas guy and says, "I'm doing this for my country" and pushes out the Palestinian.
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A third-grade class is learning about animals. One girl asks what's the disgusting thing that camels have on their backs. Michael gets up and answers, "an Arab".
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When Yasser Arafat got his new cellphone, right before he died, he looked at it and said: "wee! We are Both vibrating!"...
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